In celebration of the season, the Coastal Point is pleased to share these wonderful Christmas stories from our readers – enjoy – and Merry Christmas!
Got Christmas?
The Seven Fishes
from Mary Ellen Nantais
As far back as I can remember, Christmas Eve was our family’s Christmas. Coming from a Catholic, Italian (and Irish and Polish) background, our holidays were always one of total family participation.
When I think about how we celebrate the holidays, our Christmas Eve meal is the one that comes to mind most often. My paternal grandparents came here from Italy and brought with them some of the customs our family still celebrates – most importantly, the meal. The Italian custom of seven fishes on Christmas Eve dates back to when Catholics could not eat meat on Christmas Eve.
Although my mom and dad had to improvise to accommodate some picky eaters, here is what it consists of today: My dad makes the spaghetti and anchovies (which really is delicious). Mom does the shrimp scampi; cousins bring crab imperial, smelts (small fried fish), shrimp and pasta, calamari (only occasionally, not a big hit), crabcakes and some tuna dishes. We also have macaroni and cheese, salad and lots of bread and wine.
When the five of us children were small, our table was set for seven of us, and Grandmom and Grandpop Freccia. Those years didn’t last very long, as more and more cousins, aunts, uncles, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc., starting coming over to enjoy what Mom and Dad had prepared.
Mom would start work on setting the table at least two days in advance. She would enlist the neighbors’ extra tables and chairs so that all of us could sit together at the table.
As the years went on, so did the size and number of tables. We started out with one table in the dining room then added an additional one into the living room, progressed into the sunroom and across its back and sides. There were the tables for the grown ups, one for the ’tweens, and young married couples and those with highchairs. It was a big deal the year you were invited to sit at the grown-up table.
There have been years when Mom set the tables for 45-plus people. Generally, now, we have about 30. Each year or so, we add a highchair or remove a grown-up chair. There have been too many years that we lost one of our beloved love-ones, but usually within a short period of time we add one or two from a wedding or birth and the tradition continues.
My father always told us that no matter where we are in the country, we are to be home on Christmas Eve, no matter what. I remember the year that our Justin was undergoing chemotherapy and he was not able to be around too many people. Craig, Adam, Danielle, Father Greg and I still celebrated dinner that night with our family, as my younger sister Michele called us while Dad was saying the Advent prayers so that we could still enjoy the moment.
It never fails that when it comes time for the prayers around the Advent wreath my dad starts to cry at the first line, “Stir up thy might O Lord,” and we all begin to smile at his warm-hearted tears.
He and Mom have celebrated 59 Christmases together. They have lost both sets of parents, their siblings, in-laws and a grandchild, but they both stand together at the end of table to recite grace and to light the advent wreath each year.
The five of us children have been blessed in a way we never truly realized until we had our own families. That we need to be together as a family, to celebrate, to cry, and to sometimes argue and know that that is what families do. The traditions of a family are what makes the family and holds them to each other.
There will be a day when the Christmas Eve tradition my parents started so long ago will pass on to one of us. I hope when that day comes we live up to the tradition of Adam and Marie Freccia and that our grandchildren and great-grandchildren will know the story of our Christmas Eve tradition and who started it all.
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The Traditions
from Susan Garner
Actually, I believe most people living in this area believe in the baby in the manger but may not have a personal relationship with Him. I believe they understand that behind the Santa stuff there is another meaning, so I am interested to hear what people have to say.
You asked for Christmas traditions. I have had several for many years, but as my kids get older, some of them are still in place, others not. I have been raising my two children as a single parent (not my choice, but grateful for it) since they were 6 and 7. The one great thing about that is that I have always celebrated all the holidays throughout the year with them. They are now 17 and 18. I am very fortunate.
Since my son's birthday is Dec. 2, I always waited until after his birthday to put up the “fake” tree that was passed on to me from Mom and Dad. As a family, I would put on Christmas music and the three of us would take an afternoon to put on the lights (always a toss-up for all colored lights or all white lights) and the ornaments being careful to put up the school-made ornaments and recall the memories each child had in making it and the friends they had that year.
When they were small, I would bake monkey bread and we would eat this as they were opening their gifts. If they got up before me, they knew to only open the things in their stocking. Of course, that would happen most Christmases early on, since I would always manage to be up until 2 or so wrapping the gifts. I could never manage to do the wrapping prior to Christmas Eve when they were young.
Now that they are older, I have to go in and wake them up because now the wrapping has been done for weeks, the gifts have been under the tree for at least a week; they’re teenagers, and what teenager doesn’t sleep in on a day off? And Mom’s ready to see the smiles on their faces. Plus, as you will read in a bit, I prepare breakfast for everyone before we have to leave for church, so we have to get started.
Since I am so blessed and live next door to my parents, older brother, younger brother and his family, including two small children, the tradition continues. My sister-in-law would have us all over for heavy hors d’oeuvres Christmas Eve.
Some families go to church Christmas Eve, some at midnight and some Christmas morning. So on Christmas morning, I would prepare breakfast and then the rest of the day, the women-folk would all prepare the Christmas dinner at Mom’s house. Dinner would take about 30 minutes, tops, for an all-day preparation; but we would have so much fun just being together and reliving old times. As the kids grew older they would relive old times – wow, I feel old now.
Some other traditions are the mother-daughter dinner. That’s where several other families that lived on our road when I was a child and when we would come to Ocean View on weekends and summers would go out for dinner and exchange inexpensive gifts.
We used to buy gifts for everyone in the family, but we began drawing names for the adults at Thanksgiving a few years ago. This is a tradition that I really like because it makes Christmas much more meaningful to me. There isn't all that shopping to do. Last year, I bought almost all of my gifts at local shops. I didn't even go to the outlets last year.
This is something that I am going to carry on, too. I will have to buy some things for the kids online, but how easy is that? Supporting the local businesses is something that I feel great about too. These local businesses really do offer great deals this time of the year, too.
Another tradition I began several years ago is helping others in need. I like to contribute to the giving tree at church. Some years I find out about a family in need. It’s not just giving money. It’s more doing something nice for them or just buying groceries. Nothing puts a smile on a face (or a tear of joy) of a parent in hard times than a gallon of milk, a huge chicken, a bag of potatoes, cans of veggies and a few loafs of bread.
Sure, they can buy it with the money but usually they don’t. There are bills or debts or other priorities that money goes to. That’s not to say that money isn’t also going to put the warmth in their hearts. It does. It’s just that I don’t have that kind of money to give and believe that my small token goes just as far in their minds. If everyone did that, how nice would this town be?
Here is another that was started several years ago: ringing the bell for the Salvation Army. I never knew I could do that until the sorority I am in decided to help out one year. There is just something about hearing that bell at Christmas that can take anyone back some years, when we were dragged as small children through the shopping centers with Mom doing her Christmas shopping or seeing movies with the ringers.
I enjoyed writing this to you, as it reminds me that I have quite a few traditions. It didn’t seem like I would have a lot to say, but I do. It also reminds me that I have grown a great deal in that I do live a stress-free Christmas season. Maybe it’s simply because I chose to invite Christ into my Christmas.
Oh, I can’t forget the homemade biscotti that I only make at Christmas. People tell me that I should sell it and make money. Of course, they are my family and closest friends.
In re-reading this, it’s pretty sappy isn’t it?
Good luck on your Christmas venture and you... Have a Merry Christmas!
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The Golden Walnuts
from Sue and Buzz Smith
We have a Christmas tradition that our adult children, their spouses and our grandchildren have been looking forward to for about 10 years. As soon as we are able to buy English walnuts in the fall, we buy 60 of them, and my husband begins to carefully open each nut and remove all the nut meat. He then fills the shell with coins or paper money and glues them back together. One of the shells gets just one penny in it.
I use the nut meats in my holiday baking. When all the shells have been filled and glued, I paint each nut with gold metallic paint. They are then put in a safe place until we go to our home town of Wilmington to celebrate Christmas with our family.
On Christmas Eve, we pass around the basket of gold walnuts and they each take them, one at a time. The rules are that you must take the one you touch – no trying to get the heaviest or shaking to try to see if there are coins or paper in them.
Once they are all passed out, they begin to crack them open. As I said, one has a penny in it – that is really the lucky one. Whoever gets that one gets a dollar from each of the others. Of course, there is a great deal of excitement as they open them and find paper money, ones and fives in them.
What they really want, though, is the penny. Whoever gets the most money gets bragging rights for a year, until the next Christmas. We have enjoyed doing this each year and our family has enjoyed playing our silly game.
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The Oplatek
from Jennifer Popiel
I would like to share a long-time Polish tradition that my family celebrates every Christmas Eve. It is similar to the Christmas customs in Poland. This is a tradition that has and always will be near and dear to my heart.
Each family member is given an Oplatek Christmas wafer, which symbolizes the holy bread. Each family member breaks a piece of the Oplatek from another family member’s Oplatek and eats it while wishing one another much luck and happiness for the New Year, followed by a hug and kiss.
The family then gathers ’round the table for a Christmas prayer before the long-anticipated traditional Christmas Eve supper: homemade soup, homemade pierogie (one with a potato filling and one with a cheese filling), homemade coleslaw and fresh codfish. There is always one empty place setting at the table, in case a stranger, old friend or a family member arrives at the house unexpected.
In Polish customs, the supper is called Wigilia (it means to watch or keep vigil) and the feast consists of 12 courses, one for each Apostle.
After dinner (if you have room to eat) dessert is served: poppyseed bread, cheesecakes and cookies.
Before the night ends, St. Nick arrives at the house with a bag full of presents; one for each family member – the children have always enjoyed this.
Christmas Day the family gathers again, but at my parent's house.
My Babci (grandmother) is 85 and my Dziadzi (grandfather) is 87. They have upheld this tradition long before I was born. They had eight children who have all married and there are now 19 grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren; most of us have had the honor to celebrate this tradition year after year, while others can only share it with us on occasion.
Memories of Lights
Darin McCann
Point Editor
One would think that 48 years of marriage could become, well, predictable. Same aggravating habits being displayed for 48 years, same conversations for 48 years, same … let’s just say that a lot of things can tend to become routine after 48 years.
Memories of Lights
Well, check that. It might not get redundant if you were married to Vernon Burgan for those 48 years.
“You just never knew what he’d do next,” said Cora Burgan, who was indeed married to Vernon for 48 years. “Especially at Christmas.”
Like many of us, Vernon Burgan had a favorite hobby. But Vernon’s hobby was not collecting stamps or re-enacting Civil War battles. No, no, Vernon Burgan was captivated by lights — Christmas lights, to be specific.
“He’d get more and more decorations every year,” said Cora. “We had a whole shed out back that was filled with nothing but Christmas decorations. He’d light up the front yard, the back yard — even inside the house. He had a Christmas garden set up in the living room with a train set, and invited all the neighborhood kids to come over and see it. And if a neighbor needed help, he’d go over and help them decorate their houses, too.”
The decorating frenzy began for Vernon while the family was still living in Baltimore. When they moved full-time to their house in Shady Dell Park in 1985, the lights and tradition came with them. Neighbors loved his lavish Christmas decorations, and Cora said some people they never met before came by with a tray of Christmas cookies as a sign of thanks for the beautiful decorations.
And then, in 2003, Vernon unleashed his most ambitious decorating effort yet. His son, Vernon Jr., had moved back in with the family to spend more time with his mother and father, and helped Vernon with the incredible display. Cora was blown away, and asked Vernon why he did so many lights.
“He told me that he felt like it would be his last year,” said Cora. “And he really wanted to do it right.”
Vernon Burgan passed away on March 31, 2004.
The death of Vernon was difficult for both wife and son. Vernon was spontaneous and thoughtful, often at the same time. One year, early in their marriage when money was tight, Vernon presented Cora a gift that was both simple and incredibly sweet — he had pasted dimes to a piece of paper in the shape of “I love you.” The couple took turns in subsequent years passing the gift back and forth.
Through the strength of others, Cora and Vernon Jr. were eventually able to move forward.
“My whole family was such an inspiration for me,” said Cora. “And my co-workers made life so much easier for me. It just really meant a lot to have so many people there for me.”
Cora has worked at Country Wicker for more than 20 years. That follows her 30-year career working for the federal government. For Cora Burgan, change is not something she is accustomed to, and the loss of her beloved husband was hard to work through for her. Luckily, her loved ones came to her side. And some began hanging up Christmas lights for her.
“It’s still hard,” said Cora. “It starts to get bad every year right before Thanksgiving. Then I walk into stores and see Christmas decorations, and I think, ‘Wow, if Vernon was here, he’d really like that.’ But that’s how it is. My friends and family have helped a lot, but it’s still hard … especially this time of year.”
Memories of Lights
However, every blinking light she sees, and every excited sound from a child she hears at Christmas time, brings back fond memories of Vernon, and the world seems right again.
“It gives me a warm feeling inside when I see Christmas lights,” said a smiling Cora. “I just remember how much he loved the holiday, and that makes me feel close to him again.”